Tag Archives: Erica D’Aurora Wednesday Wisdom

Wednesday Wisdom: How to Deal with Disappointment

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Disappointment really sucks, doesn’t it?

Although it’s a natural and very unavoidable part of life, it still hurts when it happens, and it can be difficult to cope with.

It’s so easy to feel discouraged and defeated when we’re faced with disappointment, but it’s how we deal afterward that makes all the difference.

If you’ve just come face to face with disappointment, here are some of my best tips for moving forward.

Acknowledge and experience your feelings.

One of the best ways to deal with disappointment–or any difficult situation for that matter–is to allow yourself to feel your feelings.

You’re entitled to feel how you feel, and it’s important to recognize what those feelings are. Whether you’re angry, sad, or discouraged, name it, sit with it, and reflect on why you’re feeling that way.

Of course, disappointment ranges in severity, from momentary, forgettable disappointments (like your favorite ice cream being out of stock at the grocery store) to what can seem like devastating setbacks (like being passed over for your dream job). So if you need to cry, let the tears rise to the surface. If you need to let out all that pent up frustration, hit the gym or punch a pillow.

Acknowledging your feelings is one of the healthiest things you can do to move on.  

Accept the situation.

Yep, you were disappointed. And yes, you probably wish you weren’t.

It might take a while for you to process the situation, and that is 100% okay. Don’t put pressure on yourself to get over it, and don’t judge yourself for taking the time to digest what happened.

However, there is major power to be found in acceptance. At the most basic level, acceptance is acknowledging reality and relinquishing control of a situation that is out of your hands. 

Trust me, I know how hard it can be to reach acceptance after disappointment. By doing so, it may feel like you’re giving up or that you’re telling yourself that you’re okay with what happened. But that’s not actually what you’re doing. Acceptance can help you make peace with the disappointment while empowering you to move forward with clarity.

Recognize the positives.

Even though disappointment can feel truly devastating in the moment, there is always a bright side, no matter the situation.

Sure, it might be hard to spot at first, but when you’re able to find the light peaking through the clouds, it changes your perspective.

Maybe that disappointment happened because there’s something better waiting for you to claim. Maybe that disappointment happened because you weren’t prepared to receive the outcome you wanted yet. (If you believe in a little thing called divine timing, you know exactly what I’m talking about)

And if you’re just so mad and upset that you’re really not able to see the upside, reflect on your life and recognize everything you have to be grateful for. I guarantee that you’ll find a lot when you start looking.

As an added bonus, when you start practicing gratitude, you’re training your brain to see the good in life, which means you’ll naturally be able to see more of it every day, and isn’t that a wonderful way to experience the world?

Spend time doing what you love.

Having hobbies and projects that light you up inside is super important when it comes to living a full and satisfying life. They are an important tool that can help get you through the bad times.

After being disappointed, doing something you love gets those feel-good hormones pumping in your brain and gives your mind a break.

Whether you love cooking or painting, crafting or reading, doing something you love can also help you feel productive and provide you with a sense of control at a time when you feel like you don’t have control over anything. 

Take the time to fill your cup. Your mind and body will thank you for it.
Disappointment is a natural part of life, but instead of getting consumed by it and letting it keep you down, there are plenty of ways we can cope with the hurt and come out stronger on the other side.

Wednesday Wisdom: How to Avoid Burnout When You’re Hustling 24/7

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Burnout is a monster all its own. It can chew you up and spit you out. When not addressed, it can haunt you like a ghost.

When you’re an entrepreneur — and especially if you’re an entrepreneur in a creative field — burnout is very real. More than likely, your passion became your business, and your business became your passion. And all of that has gotten tangled up with your need to survive, leading you to get caught in a 24/7 hustle that you can’t escape from.

Once burnout sets in, it can be very hard–but not impossible–to recover. However, the trick to dealing with burnout is actually preventing it in the first place. Here are my best tips.

Set boundaries

    Personally, one of the most important rules I’ve learned when it comes to both business and living a healthy and satisfying life is setting boundaries.

    Boundaries are crucial when it comes to maintaining a good work-life balance, and if you’re not used to setting them, doing so can feel scary. You might feel like you’re going to upset or disappoint the people around you, and in business specifically, setting boundaries can make you feel like you’re threatening important relationships, or like you’re putting yourself in danger of losing work.

    Every day, you are teaching others how to treat you, and when you’re constantly allowing your boundaries to be broken, you’re teaching them that you’re okay with it. Not only that, but by putting others’ needs before your own and prioritizing their demands, you’re damaging your self-esteem, you’re sending yourself the message that your time and effort are not worth as much as that of others, and you can get caught in an endless cycle. And the more you allow your boundaries to be violated, the more it can shake your self-worth, stir up frustration and anger that you might not even realize you’re feeling, make you feel powerless, and yep, lead to burnout.

    When you finally make the effort to set boundaries, you might feel some anxiety to begin with–because saying no can be incredibly intimidating when you’re not used to it–but you’ll find that the more you do it, the easier it will be. 

    Take breaks

      This may seem like an obvious solution, but when you’re going going going, working with clients, working on trying to drum up business, working to survive, taking breaks can feel like a luxury. Heck, making time for life in general can feel impossible.

      If you’re stuck in the hustle 24/7, your brain isn’t getting the rest it needs to function properly, nor are you leaving yourself any space for new ideas and solutions to come through. 

      Your mind needs time to focus on other things, so make it a non-negotiable to do something you love every day, even if it’s just for five minutes.

      Whether it’s cooking or crafting, reading or watching movies, whatever it is that fills you with joy and makes you feel alive, do it. Regularly. Consistently. Just do it.

      Exercise

        A major key to preventing burnout is stress management, and one of the best ways to manage stress is through exercise.

        Stress needs a way to leave the body. Otherwise, it can fester and build up inside you, leaving you feeling exhausted, drained, and just plain unwell.

        There are endless benefits to exercise. It helps lower stress hormones, it helps you sleep better, it can help you feel happier, it can help you focus. At the very least, it can help you get your mind on something else, for gosh sakes. And when it’s combined with fresh air and sunshine? There’s nothing like it.

        So take a walk, do some yoga, hit the gym. Move your body in whatever way feels good for you. Get the stress out.

        Find support from your community

          Human connection holds a lot of power. Maybe even more power than we realize. It even has the power to heal.

          If you’re a business owner, your default might be to do everything yourself, and you might have trouble giving up control, even when it comes to the smallest tasks. And if you’re a solopreneur, you really do wear all the hats, which, let’s be honest, can not only be draining as heck but can put you on the fast track to burnout.

          If there’s one thing I’ve learned from starting and running a business it’s the power of community and the importance of building a good one for yourself. Whether you find it in friends, family, fellow business owners and creatives, or all of the above, your community plays a crucial role in your overall success and mental health.

          Being able to rely on people you trust will help you feel supported, and when you’re caught up in what seems like a never-ending to-do list, they’re the ones who will pull you back into the present moment and remind you that there is more to life than the hustle.

          Burnout is a beast, but it’s a beast you can avoid by making a few small changes to how you approach your work and life. You don’t have to do it all overnight, but putting in a little effort one day at a time will make you stronger in the long run and prevent you from reaching a point that will be difficult to bounce back from.