Do you shudder when someone drops the word “networking”?

Same.

Whether you’re planning on attending an in-person event or trying to connect online with other people in your field, networking is something so many of us dread. Just the thought of it can stir up anxiety, and imposter syndrome, and all of the uncomfortable feelings that general social interaction can produce.

But it doesn’t have to be that way!

Here are my best tips for taking the work out of networking and making it something that you might even–dare I say–enjoy.

Take the pressure off.

The term “networking” can be so incredibly intimidating. But networking is actually something that we do naturally every day without even thinking about, which is forming relationships.

If you’ve made friends at all in this life, you’ve had plenty of practice.

So if you’re someone who, like me, despises networking in the traditional sense of the word, and you feel pressure to make the most of every networking situation you’re in, it’s helpful to first remember that you likely already have all the skills you need to network effectively because you’re a human on planet Earth.

Then try to redefine your goals. 

Maybe instead of convincing yourself that you have to meet everyone in the room (or virtual group), this time focus on genuinely connecting with one person. It’s a strategy that I’ve used myself, and guess what? It helped me shake off the anxiety and pressure I was putting on myself because meeting one person–just one–is an extremely realistic goal. 

You don’t climb every rung on a ladder at once do you? Of course not! So why overwhelm yourself with meeting all the people, and doing all the things, all at once?

Although it may feel small, meeting one person, especially when you’re nervous to begin with, is still very much a valid success. Not to mention that it can help give you the confidence to meet more people going forward. 

Focus on finding common ground.

If the hardest part of networking for you is making small talk, or just plain opening a conversation with someone new, one of the easiest ways to break the ice is starting on common ground.

If you’re at an in-person event, something as simple as making a comment on the venue or town can be an effective way of making that initial connection. And, yes, as played out as it might sound, you can even talk about the weather. It’s a boring topic, but it works.

If you’re trying to connect with someone professionally through Instagram, but you’re afraid of outward rejection (or, let’s be honest, being left on read), start by pointing out a mutual acquaintance. They’ll likely be more likely to respond if they know you share a friend.

Finding common ground can help connect people in any setting, especially when it comes to networking.

Look for people you know.

Sure, you might not be able to do this in every situation, but it always helps to find a friendly face in a room you’re feeling uncomfortable in, whether you’re at an in-person event or interacting virtually in a Facebook or LinkedIn group.

It’s important to remember here that you shouldn’t stay glued to the people you know, as much as you might want to. You probably don’t know everyone, or perhaps anyone, they know, so think of them instead as facilitators who can help introduce you to other people.

And if you can’t find someone you know, try talking to the person who is leading or organizing the event. More often than not, they are happy to chat and even do the hard work for you by introducing you to the people in the room they think you might click with!

Remember everything you bring to the table.

It can be easy when we’re in certain situations, especially big networking events, to feel like we’re not as accomplished as the people around us or like we don’t belong in the room. 

Although comparisonitis is very real, the reality is that you bring a unique perspective that no one else has (you know, that no two snowflakes are the same theory and all that). You have legit skills to offer and different life experiences than the person standing next to you. 

Your knowledge is valuable. 

And more importantly, you are inherently valuable. Which means you have as much right to be in that room–and on this planet, for that matter–as anyone else.

Networking can be downright nerve-wracking, whether it’s in a virtual setting or in person, but when it comes to forming connections, what works for some may not work for everyone. Luckily, there are all different kinds of strategies that can help you find success–you just have to find the approach that best works for you.